A DIVIDING WALL

The Church and Trump's Wall

After posting a photo on Facebook of a migrant woman and her children fleeing tear gas at the border wall between Mexico and the U.S., I witnessed a caustic interchange of opinion that lasted for several days on my timeline. Most of the responders claim to be Christian, but their perspectives spanned the gamut of viewpoints, regarding how these migrants should be dealt with. Several days passed after that lively debate, before I received a link to an article discussing the issue of the wall, itself. The article insinuated that anyone who did not support the building of the wall was fighting against the will of God. It used the story of Nehemiah’s rebuilding of the wall of Jerusalem, five centuries before Christ, as evidence that God would want a wall built at the American/Mexican border.

At first, I chose to ignore the link, but it had been sent by a long time Facebook friend, who I reckoned sent it as an invitation to reply. To build or not to build a wall is, apparently, an important issue to many of my readers, so here is my view on the issue:

I will begin by saying that I am neither for nor against the building of a wall at the southern border of the U.S. I do not see a wall as a moral or immoral, loving or unloving, move on the part of our people or government. I do not believe that I have ever taken a side on that particular issue in the immigration/migrant/caravan debate. My main concern has been the treatment of the migrants themselves.

What concerns me re: the issue of the wall is the fact that it is apparently becoming yet another nexus around which Christians are taking sides, judging one another, as to their rightness/wrongness/spirituality/maturity/immaturity, etc. We have plenty of such points of controversy already, which are dividing brothers and sisters from one another. The issue of a wall, a physical barrier along our national border, is becoming a metaphysical hot point for the Church.

Regarding the particular arguments put forth in the article, what I see is the all-too-common use of Scripture to validate a particular viewpoint in an essentially political (if not completely secular) debate. In order to accept that the story of Nehemiah, for example, can be applied to our own situation, one must first agree to compare the U.S. (or any region) to ancient Jerusalem. The fact that God encouraged the rebuilding of the Jerusalem wall is extrapolated into an endorsement to do the same on our southern border 2500 years later. I, frankly, do not see the comparison, except that any wall we would build is meant to protect our interior, just as Nehemiah’s wall was meant to protect Jerusalem. I do not understand making the spiritual application in the way the article seems to imply, that God wants the U.S. to do the same, unless the U.S. is some sort of New Jerusalem, revealed in our time.

As for what God wants, I believe walls can be either in or out of his will. I am not sure they are always good or always bad. What I think matters to God is the hearts of the people who would build them (or not). Fear of invasion can be a wise motivating factor, or it can be lack of faith. Jeremiah predicted there would come a time when God would “deliver into the hand of the enemy” the walls of Jerusalem’s palaces. Only God knows the hearts of the region’s inhabitants or its leaders.

But, let’s agree, for the sake of argument, that the U.S. is a holy nation, chosen of God, just as Jerusalem was (and is) the Holy City. If this is true, can we necessarily apply the story of Nehemiah to our own country? If we are going to do that, we must be very sure that we are in a “Nehemiahan” age. We are coming out of some era of prolonged punishment into an era of blessing, and God wants us to “rebuild” walls that have been broken down. We have decided to devote ourselves to righteousness and to put aside all that brought our suffering upon us in the first place. The people opposing the wall are, by inference, unspiritual opponents of God himself.

The story of Nehemiah takes place toward the end of the Babylonian Captivity, 152 years after King Nebuchadnezzar destroyed Jerusalem and broke down its walls. The current King, Artaxerxes, of what was then called Persia, is allowing his Hebrew cupbearer, Nehemiah, to return to Jerusalem to rebuild the ancient walls. The Jews have sufficiently repented of their sins that God orchestrates this blessing.

Keep in mind that God had also orchestrated the destruction of Jerusalem itself and had prompted Nebuchadnezzar to take the Jews captive a century-and-a-half earlier. Always, God is in charge in overseeing what happens to the Jews (and to all things in this world and among its people).

So, are we in a Nehemiahan age? I do not think so. We have certainly not suffered much for our national sins. We have not come out of some prolonged punishment, found repentance and devoted ourselves to righteousness. From my perspective, we are setting ourselves up for some sort of retribution yet to come. God is not real proud of America, in my opinion. While there is always a“remnant” of the righteous, our national character has wandered far astray from the principles that made it great once upon a time. We are nowhere near a Nehemiahan age. We have not even experienced the wrath of God, to any great degree. We presently have an administration that wants us to become “great again,” that takes proper strides on some matters. But, the definition of “great” is not always a godly one, and too often we and our leaders, like Israel and Judah, have fits of revival only to fall back again.

I do agree that the story of Jerusalem can be applicable to many places and times. Jerusalem is always an object lesson for the world, just as the Jews themselves are. As for its walls, they are a visible record in stone of how God has dealt with unrighteousness and righteousness in a nation. One glance at the layers of stone that make up the wall will tell the story of conquest, destruction, and continual rebuilding that follow the moral history of the nation.

As for whether Jesus himself would help build Trump’s wall, I guess your take on this depends on how far you want to stretch the allegory of Jerusalem and the U.S. The one time Jesus discussed walls and buildings was just before his death, when he was walking in the Temple with his disciples. They were marveling at the magnificent structures, which would have doubtless included the encircling walls of the Temple Mount. Jesus saw their awestruck faces and warned them that the time was coming when not one stone would be left upon another that would not be thrown down. The fulfillment of that prophecy came in 70 A.D., when the Romans so razed the city that later visitors could scarcely believe it had ever been a city at all. It was rebuilt as Aelia Capitolina, a Roman colony, and remained that way for 600 years. Jews were not even permitted within its borders, on penalty of death.

So, if the U.S. is to be compared with Jerusalem, in an effort to support Trump’s wall, we must be sure we are in a Nehemiahan revival, and not due for an Aelia Capitolinan disgrace.

One more thing (and I say this knowing it will offend some), when we picture Jesus helping to build the celebrated wall, is he also among those standing at the top, lobbing tear gas canisters at those trying to scale it? 

In conclusion: I do not see the wall as an issue of important debate among Christians; I see the hearts of our nation, our people and our leaders as of far more importance in the eyes of God. 

THE PEN OF GOD

We climbed a long, gentle slope and were alone in a vastness and a distance that were like nothing I had ever seen or imagined. In all directions I could see the horizon, not a hill between that interrupted the smooth, round bowl-rim of blue. It was like being a very tiny ant on a table under Mother’s very biggest mixing bowl, a blue and silver bowl and a table-cloth all greeny-tan and full of little wrinkles….I felt a kind of smile inside myself, and a sense of awe that made me not want to say a word….It was like driving into a world nobody had ever seen before except God, a world God had just made, like the world in the Bible before there was an Adam or an Eve. Even the sounds were all new….not much louder than the squeak of a cricket in your pocket.

High, Wide and Lonesome – Hal Borland – 1956

I am reading the story of Hal Borland’s boyhood on the East Colorado plains in the early 1900s. Though it may not be a history that sings to many of us today, there are passages with such powerful description that they almost bring tears to my eyes. More than once I have had to stop and marvel at the talent that could create such haunting imagery, such transporting prose.

The ability of some writers to do this is a God-given thing. In fact, I believe language and its proper use is all a gift from God – one of the greatest of all gifts.

There is a reason Christ is called the Word of God: He is the ultimate expression of the Divine. And human language is a shadow of that expression. Without words, we are incomplete beings. It is not until we are able to express thought in words that we have fully “become.”

A child’s first word is cause for celebration. Grandparents are called, social media posts tell of the event, the family is all aflutter. Why? Because the child is now part of the communion of souls, able to give and take in the expression of life.

When Helen Keller, blind and deaf, uttered her first word, she “became.” Before that, she was unaware of her own separateness and the actuality of the world around her.

But great writing, great literature, is a step above and beyond basic communication. It is the art at the heart of God. By His word, worlds became. At His command, the earth and the universe, life itself, burst forth.

By our own words we create or destroy the very atmosphere around us. The word is a powerful thing.

Great language, great writing employs this gift at the highest human level, and often seems to be a divine thing. Wonderful writers will tell you that they do not always know where the words come from, that they seem to flow into and through them from beyond themselves.

Wonderful turns of phrase – elevating and profound, or pithy and simple – “just the right words” are not belabored. They just come.

Not all those who appreciate fine writing can write that way. But they recognize it when they read it or hear it. It touches them in the same way that a fine musical score touches them or a grand sunset or a mighty surf.

It is not only part of God’s creation, it is the origin of creation itself.

The next time you read a marvelous piece of prose or poetry, think of where it came from. At that moment, the author is the pen of God.

Rising Above the "Bestseller" Myth

It's tough being a legitimate publisher, in the current market of publishers and book sites who stretch the truth, manipulate sales rankings and report "success" for their authors, using deceptive promotional jargon. I spent a good part of one day just trying to understand the term "best seller" on Amazon. (Though, as I will point out later, Amazon is not alone in the practice of deceptive book marketing.)

Some time back, I was speaking with an author who was thrilled to tell me of her "bestseller" status on Amazon. As it turned out, her book was indeed a #1 bestseller, in the category of Children's Books>Toddlers>Featuring Toys (or something like that!). Furthermore, according to what I read, the sales rankings for both Kindle and print are "updated hourly," which means that the poor author's #1 status may well have changed an hour after she looked at it. (Details have been changed to protect the innocent.)

Even more confounding is the Free vs. Paid ranking on Kindle. A book might indeed show up with a very high rank on Kindle, but a glance at the labeling with reveal that the book was available for free download, and the ranking was based on this. The book’s ranking may be misconstrued as “bestseller,’ since Amazon lumps both Free and Paid listings under the heading Amazon Best Sellers Rank. Short of that, the publisher may report that a given book reached #1 status on Amazon, but fail to explain the particulars.

In reality, rankings on Amazon are not "historical" so much as "time sensitive." According to Amazon: "For the Kindle Store, Amazon Best Sellers lists are divided into Top 100 Paid and Top 100 Free. … Both lists are updated hourly." Such rankings do not give a true picture of how a book has done throughout its history, but are simply snapshots in time, showing how a book did within the last hour. So, essentially Amazon has taken it upon itself to redefine the age-old definitions of bestseller, recasting the term for its own benefit. It also throws the term around loosely, lumping various categories and modes of distribution under it, so that the unwary public can be duped into thinking they are buying a more popular book than is the case.

Lest you think I scorn the public’s naivete, let me tell you that I, myself, have been used this way. Years ago, when my book, The Priest, first came out, it achieved #7 in a fairly broad Christian category. I was elated, until I looked a little deeper into the stats. As it turned out, this was a blip on the register, due to a book club in a small town in Texas that had just purchased several copies at once. For a fleeting hour (probably), my book had skyrocketed…all due to the algorithm employed by Amazon.

I have been focusing on Amazon, but the tendency for the publishing/book marketing industry to “stretch the truth” is nothing new. It far predates the era of the internet. Many years ago, I was talking with an editor from a prestigious publishing house, who explained to me how book marketing was often manipulated. He said the term “copies in print,” often used as a marketing ploy (i.e. One Million copies in print!) actually referred to the number of books printed (not bound) and stored in a publisher’s warehouse. This was a legitimate way of promoting a book but did not necessarily translate to sales. Later, those unbound copies might actually be destroyed, or, if bound, “remaindered,” and sent out onto the secondary market. As for the term “books sold” (i.e. One Million sold!), he told me that a select group of bookstores were routinely queried for numbers of books sold in a given period. Those bookstores, in cahoots with publishers, would place outlandish orders for books, so that, on paper, it appeared sales for a given book were wonderful. After the book was listed in the newspaper as a bestseller, those orders were often downsized or cancelled. (Wikipedia has this to say about the NYT Bestseller list: It is “compiled according to ‘reports from leading booksellers in 22 cities.’ This methodology of ranking by bookseller sales figures remains to this day although the exact data compilation process is a trade secret and has evolved over time.”)

I know this may seem incredible, but “fact stretching” goes on in many ways, even among authors, themselves. I sat in on a seminar for book promotion, taught by an “expert” on the topic. He told the group, who were all wannabee bestsellers, that one way to catch the eye of a publisher is to have an agent. If you cannot find an agent who will take on your book, find someone who is willing to pose as your agent. He gave an example of an author who used his wife in this way. Her last name was different than his, so publishers were none the wiser (although I am sure most savvy publishers would see through this). Reviews can be garnered this way, too, as you promise whatever to your friends, if they will post great reviews of your book. Authors have even been known to sink boatloads of money into purchasing their own books, to elevate the sales figures, a tactic that is ultimately self-defeating.

So, what exactly is a bestseller? Traditionally, any book that sells over 50,000 has been considered a bestseller. 50,000 is a good minimum for hardback, paperback, fiction, non-fiction, religious, secular. I was told, years ago, that if a book sold 50,000, lightning had struck.

So, what is the takeaway from this blog? Ellen, are you just trying to discourage all those writers and readers who have been duped by this system? No…the takeaway is this, just as it has always been: DON’T WRITE FOR THE MARKET! Write to express your own soul, your interests, your heart. Write to encourage others, to educate, to inform. Be willing to promote your product, but don’t put promotion ahead of the quality of the product itself.

One of my favorite editors at Tyndale House Publishers told me, eons ago: “Cream rises to the top.” And, I would add that “the top” is also a matter of definition. If your book touches the heart or changes the life of only one reader, for the better, it has reached the top.

PRECIOUS MEMORIES

A TRIBUTE TO JOYCE KLAPSTEIN HALL ON THE OCCASION OF HER 70^TH BIRTHDAY

There is one person on earth who calls me “Mary” and gets away with it. Joyce (Klapstein) Hall has been that person for 62 years! We met at Bible Standard Institute (aka Bible Standard College, Eugene Bible College, New Hope College) in Eugene, Oregon, when we were eight years old. No, we were not prodigies who went to college at eight years of age! Our fathers were the college administrators, Joyce’s the president and mine the vice president.

I was a few months older than Joyce (aka Jodi, Joybelle), so we were a grade apart, but instant and forever besties.

Our first mutual memories are of running wild through the halls of the tiny college building, jumping down flights of stairs and hiding inside the knee-holes of teacher desks in the classrooms, as our fathers vainly called for us after late events at the school. Not as reverent as we should have been, we rolled on the thick red carpet in the prayer room and laughed ourselves silly.

My parents both worked at the college, mother being the librarian, and since I was an “only child,” with no siblings, I hung out at Joyce’s house after school and on weekends, where there was always something happening. Joyce had two sisters, one older and one younger, so there was a lot of activity, laughter, arguing, competition and craziness in her house. (My house was way too quiet!)

My favorite memories of Joyce’s house are the frequent sleepovers. Joyce and I shared a big bed in the basement bedroom, sitting up late at night to play Candyland and Uncle Wiggly, or just talking and laughing ourselves to sleep.

  

Her little sister, Sharon, often joined us for those games and seemed always to want to hang around us, the older, more worldly-wise sisters. Sara Alys (aka Sally), Joyce’s older sister, was the sophisticate of the bunch, and very pretty. I always admired Sally, wanting to be like her.

One of our fondest memories is of our “performances” in the front picture window of the house. The floor length curtains served as our stage curtains, and on cue, we would perform such show-stoppers as “Tom Dooley” or other pop tunes, for the family, who were obliged to sit through the caterwauling, as though they enjoyed it. Joyce’s mother or Sally sometimes accompanied us on the piano, as we sang soulful, tear jerking renditions of “Where the Roses Never Fade” or “Precious Memories.” What we never considered was how our performances must have looked to the passersby on Willamette Street, the main street of town that ran right past the window. Our nutty costumes and antics were visible from behind, as well as to the living room’s captive audience.

I remember the evenings when we were left alone in the house, when Joyce’s parents had to be away. Inevitably, some undecipherable noise would spook all of us, and we would tiptoe through the dark house to the kitchen, where we armed ourselves with butcher knives or other implements and waited beside the door for some invisible intruder. Years later, we marveled that we had never hurt ourselves, or some unwitting arrival, with those desperate weapons!

When we were in Junior High, I moved temporarily to Pasadena, CA, where my father took over a sister college. When Joyce and her folks came to visit, we had such a rollicking good time, it is a wonder anybody put up with us. Most memorable of that visit is our riding around in the back of the Klapstein station wagon, feet out the window of the back-facing seat with scarves tied to our toes, as we belted out “Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka-dot Bikini.” No cop siren could have been more intimidating!

Joyce and I spent years together, but eventually, after high school, life separated us to different parts of the country, interests and obligations. We call the intervening years the “lost years,” and it is sad to think how many experiences we were unable to share. When we had children, Joyce named her firstborn the same as I had named mine, “Aaron.” We got together every now and then, and found that, whenever we did, it was as though no time had passed. We just picked up where we had left off, with laughter and sharing.

One such time, my sons and I visited Joyce and her family in Fresno. My Aaron and I continued the performing habit by entertaining them with magic tricks, courtesy of Aaron’s sunglassed, head-scarved pseudo-Arabic alter-ego, “Aarony-Baloney.” The gut-splitting laughter is never to be forgotten!

A couple of years ago, we reunited, now as grandparents, with aging bodies and somewhat creased faces. But, we are the same girls we always were. Our laughter still pervades any house we are in, and our husbands get a kick out of our behavior, which is unlike our behavior with anybody else.

We often consider how fortunate we were, to grow up when and where we did, and with the parents we had. We were blessed beyond measure, to be raised in households of faith and love, and we have done our best to pass the favor on to our own children and grandchildren.

Joyce, you are now joining me as a 70-something. I want to tell you how much you mean to me, and how much I hope we will always share the same hearts we have shared all these years.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR, DEAR FRIEND!!

YOUR CLOAK ALSO

“If someone takes your coat,

give him your cloak also.” Matthew 5:40

Jesus was a hard teacher. He said his yoke was easy and his burden light, but he apparently meant that, if we practice his teachings, it will go well with us in the long run. He could not have meant that it is easy to follow his directions all the time, because, frankly, it can be very hard.

Some of his instructions are so contrary to our human nature that, when we hear them or read them, our first inclination is to try to reason around them. “Yes, but…surely he didn’t really mean that, did he?"

The verse above is an example: “If someone takes your coat, give him your cloak also.” There are numerous statements of Our Lord on the same theme: “If someone asks you to go a mile with him, go two;” “If someone strikes you on the cheek, turn to him the other also.” “Do not resist an evil person.” And most difficult of all, “Love your enemies.”

This is the peace-loving Jesus speaking. But, there were times when he was not so peaceful, when he took a scourge and drove out the money-changers, or when he called his enemies whitewashed tombs and a brood of vipers.

How do we reconcile these seeming disparities in the greatest Teacher’s example?

I recently had a difficult time with a business associate. After my working very long and very hard for him, and following through on my commitments, he claimed utter disappointment and demanded certain large concessions. He also wished to back out of another contract with me, for which I had already done work. Rather than have an unhappy client, I conceded to his first demands, but resisted, in my mind, giving him the second piece of work for nothing.

When I shared this with my husband, he said, “Life is hard and lots of times it is unfair. This is not worth fighting over.”

When he said this, Jesus’s words came to my mind: “If someone takes your coat, give him your cloak also.”

As I pondered both my husband’s suggestion and Jesus’s statement, it occurred to me that the determining principle in whether to “fight back” or “give over” is related to our own well-being. There are things worth fighting for and things not worth the struggle. Jesus is telling us that part of being “wise as serpents and harmless as doves” is knowing when a quick concession is better than a fight.

And then, true to form, Jesus takes the lesson a step further. He says not only should we not demand our coat, but we should give our cloak as well.

The cloak was the most important garment worn in those days. It was the big outer garment that served multiple purposes. It covered all the other clothes, keeping them clean from the dusty environment; it kept a person warm in cold weather; it could even be used as a blanket at night, if you were traveling. It was a very important possession.

And Jesus is saying we should give it up, along with the less important thing that is demanded of us!

But why?

Again, Jesus had our own welfare in mind. It is actually best for us to take our hands off our things, our possessions, our needs, our wants, our desires. To be fully content, we must be willing to give all things over, even to our enemies. In so doing, we are reminding ourselves that our sufficiency is not of this world.

Secondly, Jesus had the welfare of our enemy in mind. By reaching out in generosity, in the face of opposition, we leave the entire matter at the feet of the opposer. We show him that we are not victims, that what he wants is less important to us than it is to him. When we do that, the other person is left to consider himself, before God.

What a liberating feeling comes from letting go! What a joy to let someone else carry the demands he has flung our way!

Yes, there are things worth fighting for, and things that are not worth the struggle. I am quite sure there are many more of the latter than the former.

Once we grasp this principle, we are on our way to fitting ourselves beneath the easy burden and the light yoke of Christ.

DOES GOD CARE ABOUT POLITICS?

And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. - 2 Timothy 2:24-25

Does God care about politics? Well, a better question might be, “Why wouldn’t He care?” He cares about everything concerning us, our daily lives, peace on the earth, justice and truth.

He also cares about nations. In fact, He came up with the idea in the first place. In Acts 17:26 we are told, “From one man He made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and He marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.” This means God did not just create the earth and the inhabitants of it, then step back to see what would happen. He has an ongoing interest and concern for what goes on down here.

We are also told that He “changes times and seasons; He deposes kings and raises up others.” (Daniel 2:21). Yes! He actually has the ultimate decision as to who will rise to the top in political races!

On its face, this might seem to mean that God favors every person who wins a political race, or that He prefers that individual as being superior to the others. I think this is a shallow perspective. He may not like that person at all, but sees fit to allow that person to rise to the top for reasons greater than the narrow political purpose at hand.

Take a look at what happened to Israel, time and again. When the nation turned from God, He allowed evil leaders to arise. Not all Israelite or Jewish kings were exemplary people. The story of King Saul is one of the most pointed. The people were convinced they should be like other nations and have a human king. To that point they had been ruled by judges, put in place by Divine authority. Now they wanted something more tangible, some man to point to and be proud of, as the representative of their nation.

Saul looked like a good choice. According to the Talmud, he was tall, handsome and had a modest demeanor. He did not swagger, but actually ran from the opportunity to be in charge, making him all the more endearing. Once he was swept to power, however, his personal insecurities drove him to some wicked decisions which have led to problems for the Jews even to this day.

In this case, and in many others, when the nation made demands, God let them have their way, allowing men to take the lead who pushed the envelope of God’s anger, leading the people into idolatry and wickedness.

In effect, by taking His hands off a nation, God allows the chips to fall where they may. Does this mean He is out of control of the situation? No! It means He has decided to control in absentia.

If God raises up and deposes national leaders, He also raises up governmental systems. In the case of the United States of America, the “system” is Democracy. All the more reason to realize that God allows us to make a lot of our own decisions. In the course of our decision-making, in the last few decades, we have effectively dismissed God from the public square. We have made it unacceptable to call on His guidance in public matters.

At this point in our history, we are getting what we asked for. We are getting our choice of leaders who do not call on God in any credible, public manner. They may give lip service, when politically expedient, to a belief in God or a personal faith. But, their manner is almost entirely self-serving, and sometimes actually profane, boastful and quarrelsome.

As Christians, many of us are at a loss to know what to do with the freedom our system grants us: the freedom to have a voice in the selection of our leaders. We see no godly choice before us.

Certainly, God can work miracles in our favor. Any number of things can happen. He could wipe all the godless contenders off the face of the earth, if He so chose. Short of that, what are we to do? We could vote for people who are not even in the running, we could use the write-in option. We could vote for the “lesser of two evils,” or refuse to vote at all.

None of these options is comforting. And, frankly, it is not likely that any such choice will turn the tide.

But, perhaps that is the point. God does not want us to be comfortable. He is allowing our nation to “get what it asked for.”

“But,” you might say, “I did not ask for this! I had nothing to do with it. I actually supported some good people, but they are no longer in the running!”

Such is the quandary of righteous people in a godless culture. And make no mistake, America is essentially godless. By our laws and decisions, America long ago asked God to step back. And so He did.

Timothy described the “servant of God” as being quiet, patient and gentle. Not weak, but strong in the Lord. When there is no clear choice that fits that description, perhaps the choice has already been made…by God.

Regardless of who steps into the Oval Office, it may well be that God has elected to give us what we asked for.

WHAT TIME I AM AFRAID...

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Ps. 56:3

For three months, my husband Richard and I have been living on pins and needles, awaiting the results of medical tests he has gone through. Today is the day we are to receive the results of those tests.

Last evening, I went for a solitary walk along a path near our house, which leads to the shores of beautiful Flathead Lake in Western Montana. My dog, Foster, and I were treated to the soft smells and soothing touch of the crisp Spring air. Trees hugged our path as we crept through outstretched branches and beneath overhanging bows. A pair of elegant whitetails bounded through the brush, stopping long enough to check us out. I whistled at them and Foster tugged at his leash with a soft "woof," standing on his hind legs and stretching to his full height of over five feet, as he observed them.

Except for the sadness which had bound up my heart for weeks, this was a perfect moment.

A phrase from the Psalms nudged at my heart: "What time I am afraid...what time I am afraid..."

Yes, Lord...what is the rest of it? Of course I knew. "I will trust in thee."

A couple of nights before I had been unable to stop tears and throaty sobs that wracked me in the privacy of my loft. I had crept out of the bedroom I share with my husband and had stolen to the place that had been a refuge many times over the years...the place where I had sensed God's leading in the writing of so many books...the place where God had spoken directly to me many times.

Would he speak to me again?

Tears did not subside until the same phrase came to me. "What time I am afraid..." Even then, however, I was still desperate.

"Lord, I know I am supposed to trust in you," I cried, "but right now I can't!"

Something in that admission brought a measure of relief to my spirit. I felt the warm smile of my Great Companion when I made my confession. He wanted me to know that I did not have TO DO anything...that trust is the antithesis of work. In fact, the work of trust is to give up, to NOT TRY, but to LET.

The walk through the woods was a continuation of the lesson. The presence of Jesus in the realm of his creation was a balm to my troubled heart. "Walk this way," I sensed him saying. "Trust in me. This is my world, and you are my child. Breathe deeply, hear the silence, bask in my love."

The stolen moment did not take all the pain away. But it held out hope. Jesus would provide a well marked path for me, through green bows and perfect light.

"What time I am afraid..." I am trusting in thee!